What are you
"I tolerate my wife's spending too much money."
"I tolerate my weight."
"I tolerate my husbands' lack of emotional sharing."
"I tolerate my over-demanding boss."
"I tolerate my children not pitching in."
"I tolerate my financial situation."
To tolerate is defined as:
To allow (something that is bad, unpleasant, etc.) to exist, happen, or be done. Or, something that one puts up with. ~
With most things we tolerate, we don't think of them as something we allow, but rather "just things we put up with". Once you recognize the things and behaviors you allow in your life, it is ONLY then, through discussion and assignments, that you will uncover why you continually put yourself in those situations. Once discovered, you will find yourself empowered to change the situation.
Hi, I'm Leslie. Welcome. I look forward to meeting you, and discovering with you, what is holding you back from living your BEST life.
Discover your GREATEST
When was the last time you sat quietly by yourself?
*Turn of ALL distractions
*Go outside if you can
*Listen to the natural sounds going on around you.
*Become aware of your breath
*Feel your belly and chest rising and falling with your breath
*Allow your whole self time to slow down.
By checking in with yourself daily, you will gain clarity of your desires and be more focused and grounded.
Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to learn.
The next time your having a conversation with a loved one, notice if you are listening. OR, are youthinking in your head of your response. Many times people find themselves planning what they're going to say instead of truly listening ~ especially during an argument. When this happens, not only does your loved one feel unheard ~ as do you too when the tables are turned, it also creates a wall of defensiveness.
Try instead, listening without thinking. Listen to the words spoken. Listen to how the person is speaking them. What are they feeling? Acknowledge, by repeating what you heard them say. Then, share your feelings or thoughts on the situation. Ask them to also just listen without responding until you are done.
Acknowledgement is key. We all like feeling acknowledged. It creates the feeling of being important to someone.
It takes time for this to feel like "normal" dialog. For so long, the two of you may have been in the dynamic of arguing "your side" to prove you are "right". The truth is you're BOTH "right". You're both craving to be heard and to feel acknowledged.
If you are interested in learning how to create this type of dialog, I can show you how. Call or email to set up an appointment.
Leslie Handley-White, C.L.C.
Certified Life Coach
Free YOURSELF from what keeps you stuck... You CAN move out of that comfort zone.
"I am so grateful that I found Leslie Handley-White to help me with my anxiety and lack of confidence as I decided to pursue my dream career. Leslie helped me recognize patterns that began in childhood. She helped me realize that I was purposely living "small," where life is safer and where I would not overstep my parents' successes. It was a profound revelation and put a lifetime of patterns into perspective. Leslie gave me tools to change that thinking and helped me quickly jump forward in pursuing a new career."
- Kristen C
"Leslie has an amazing gift! She showed me the blocks that had been keeping me stuck for a very long time. So long, I didn't even realize that I was holding myself back! While doing the work, I was able to see how I was affecting my marriage. Leslie taught me, that for me, everyday is about communication, trust and loving myself."
"I met Leslie in her Woman's Group. I got so much out of the group, But, I decided I wanted to go deeper. So, I scheduled individual meetings. I am extremely grateful I did. She was able to help me get to deeper memories from my past. I had no idea these memories were affecting my relationships now. Once I became aware of my triggers, I could no longer react to them in the same way I once had. My life had changed! Thank you Leslie!"
- Lynn H
"If you are looking for that one person to change your life, look in the mirror."
~ Roman Price
Using Active Listening to COMMUNICATE...
Here are a few
Each of us has a B.O.P. (Basic Operating Principle). Each B.O.P. is different for everyone. It is our instictive survival response. From the moment we are born, we are adapting for survival. Our B.O.P. will continually be reinforced until it is recognized. Then, and only then, it can change.
An example on how the B.O.P. starts & continually grows;
*Joanne came to see me about overcoming her fears. As with each client, through discussions and assignments, I discovered her B.O.P.
She had grown up in an alcoholic environment with physical and mental abuse from both of her parents and later in life from her husband. Early in life, she discovered how to please people in order to survive. She now continuously, allowed herself to be taken advantage of. It angered her because she didn't have the tools to speak up for herself or the knowledge of how to start setting boundaries. She was lost a long time ago and needed to rediscover who she was.
*Joanne's B.O.P. was masking.
She would put on whatever mask worked to help her feel safe in every environment she stepped into. This limited her growth and created blocks so that she never could quite accomplish what SHE wanted.
Once discovered, she was committed to working together weekly. I gave her assignments to practice and tools to use in her daily life. Within time, she was able to break the habit and create a healthier and happier way to live.
* Name has been changed